Translation-Fixing Request

[Shamara]

I'll pay £5 to whoever will go through this and fix the Japanese first. = $8 = €6.21
I really don't know much at all, especially not grammar, and what I do have is just the result of a lengthy (an hour or so) Google Translate-refining session until everything came back through correct in Japanese-English.
Which is definitely not ideal.
Making it sound prettier is definitely welcome.
PM me your fixings, If I confirm, gimme your email and allow up to 3 days for payment. ;w;

Excuse my crappy writing. (In spoiler)

Spoiler

Did you notice?
あなたは気付きましたか？
Anata wa kidzukimashita ka?

One by one, the stars had fallen from the sky.
ひとつひとつは星が空から落ちていた。
Hitotsu hitotsu wa hoshi ga sora kara ochite ita.

Around our shoulders,
私たちの肩周りに
Watashitachi no kata mawari ni,

Water in the air was turning to ice.
空気中の水は氷に目を向けた。
Kūki-chū no mizu wa kōri ni me o muketa.

I want to keep you close to me,
私はあなたが私の近くに維持したい
Watashi wa anata ga watashi no chikaku ni iji shitai,

Spinning in a world of lies;
嘘の世界で紡績
Uso no sekai de bōseki

Dancing on forever;
永遠に踊っている
Eien ni odotte iru

As though reality did not exist.
存在していなかった現実かのよう。
Sonzai shite inakatta genjitsu ka no yō.

When I leave,
私は任せるときに、
Watashi wa makaseru toki ni,

Do you intend to stay in this world?
この世界にとどまるつもりですか？
Kono sekai ni todomaru tsumoridesu ka?

I think that you know the answer.
私はあなたがその答えを知っていると思います。
Watashi wa anata ga sono kotae o shitte iru to omoimasu.

You really do not learn.
あなたが本当に学ばない。
Anata ga hontōni manabanai.

Did you ever notice?
あなたは今までに気付きましたか？
Anata wa ima made ni kidzukimashita ka?

My silence was intended to comfort your heart.
私の沈黙はあなたの心を慰めるために意図されていた。
Watashi no chinmoku wa anata no kokoro o nagusameru tame ni ito sa rete ita.

You were shivering in the dark,
あなたは暗闇の中で震えていた
Anata wa kurayaminonakade furuete ita

And I quietly took your hand.
と私は静かに手を取った。
to watashi wa shizuka ni te o totta.

Under the weight of our errors,
私たちのエラーの重みの下で
Watashitachi no ERAA no omomi no shita de

All seems to have been crushed.
すべてが押しつぶされているようです。
Subete ga oshitsubusa rete iru yōdesu.

All I can do is try to help you to find you way.
私にできることすべてはあなたの方法を見つける手助けしようとすることです。
Watashi ni dekiru koto subete wa anata no hōhō o mitsukeru tedasuke shiyou to suru kotodesu.

I want to keep you close to me,
私はあなたが私の近くに維持したい
Watashi wa anata ga watashi no chikaku ni iji shitai

Spinning in a world of lies;
嘘の世界で紡績
Uso no sekai de bōseki

Dancing on forever;
永遠に踊っている
Eien ni odotte iru

As though reality did not exist.
存在していなかった現実かのよう。
Sonzai shite inakatta genjitsu ka no yō.

When I leave,
私は任せるときに、
Watashi wa makaseru toki ni,

Do you intend to stay in this world?
この世界にとどまるつもりですか？
Kono sekai ni todomaru tsumoridesu ka?

I think that you know the answer.
私はあなたがその答えを知っていると思います。
Watashi wa anata ga sono kotae o shitte iru to omoimasu.

You really do not learn.
あなたが本当に学ばない。
Anata ga hontōni manabanai.

If you ever leave this desolate place
この荒涼とした場所のままにしておくと
Kono kōryō to shita basho no mama ni shite okuto

Come find me and, perhaps
来て、私を見つけると、多分
Kite, watashi o mitsukeru to, tabun

All will be restored.
すべてが復元されます。
Subete ga fukugen sa remasu.

I don't believe it's a bad amount. It shouldn't take that long, and the minimum hourly wage is under £7...  8D

Edit: I'll also use the utau of your choice.