Give it an honest opinion please

Kuku Klock

Ruko's Ruffians
Defender of Defoko
So, I know I know absolutely no music theory whatsoever nor do i completely comprehend it, but I love fudging around on FL and AA and I'm in the process of making a series about phobias. I want to make the songs have an unsettling feeling, but make it make sense musically. (does that even make any sense?) So here's a little snip of my WIP. Also this is th first time I was serious about tuning Vocaloid (Crying Yohio is best Yohio)



instumental for those who do better with telling what wrong based on this


I am also sorry about audacity killing the quality
 
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Blackbird

Ritsu's Renegades
Defender of Defoko
In my opinion it's hard to get into the feeling of the wip because there isn't much coherency between the different parts which kind of fight against each other in dominating my attention as a listener. I feel like if you're wanting to really drive in an unsettling sound in your music you may want to look into the theory for abnormal modes for scales as well as microtonal elements in writing because it'll allow you to have a key to formulate a song over more easily instead of having to worry about whether the parts fit together well. A simple mode that's often used for this kind of sound is the phrygian mode which is basically a flat 2nd in a major key (usually E but trying it in different keys can help adjust the overall tone of the song). However phrygian is more often used for a stereotypical "middle eastern" sound even if it's politically incorrect so phrasing is kinda what nails the tone you want. So for example instead of taking advantage of the flat 2nd in leads try more using it in the chord progression and taking advantage of the flat note as an accent in one of the chords of your chord progression in order to have the tone play a more solid role in the overall tone of the piece.

Sorry if this made absolutely zero sense, i know a lot of theory in relation to jazz guitar but figuring out how to make sense of anything in normal terms instead of just "oh you play these frets because that's what makes it sound correct" takes some effort :'D Hopefully this'll help in any way to point you in a direction to research some cool progressions to look into (a lot of the darkish sounding scales require some really cool theory so it's fun stuff to look into because it's basically just showing how people blatantly ignore the rules and have things still make since from a theory perspective)

Good luck with your songs, sounds like it'll be really cool!
 
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Kuku Klock

Ruko's Ruffians
Defender of Defoko
Thread starter
In my opinion it's hard to get into the feeling of the wip because there isn't much coherency between the different parts which kind of fight against each other in dominating my attention as a listener. I feel like if you're wanting to really drive in an unsettling sound in your music you may want to look into the theory for abnormal modes for scales as well as microtonal elements in writing because it'll allow you to have a key to formulate a song over more easily instead of having to worry about whether the parts fit together well. A simple mode that's often used for this kind of sound is the phrygian mode which is basically a flat 2nd in a major key (usually E but trying it in different keys can help adjust the overall tone of the song). However phrygian is more often used for a stereotypical "middle eastern" sound even if it's politically incorrect so phrasing is kinda what nails the tone you want. So for example instead of taking advantage of the flat 2nd in leads try more using it in the chord progression and taking advantage of the flat note as an accent in one of the chords of your chord progression in order to have the tone play a more solid role in the overall tone of the piece.

Sorry if this made absolutely zero sense, i know a lot of theory in relation to jazz guitar but figuring out how to make sense of anything in normal terms instead of just "oh you play these frets because that's what makes it sound correct" takes some effort :'D Hopefully this'll help in any way to point you in a direction to research some cool progressions to look into (a lot of the darkish sounding scales require some really cool theory so it's fun stuff to look into because it's basically just showing how people blatantly ignore the rules and have things still make since from a theory perspective)

Good luck with your songs, sounds like it'll be really cool!
Thank you very much! While I do admit I'm still trying to process the first half, I do appreciate the feedback and suggestions! So either the vocals or the instrumental itself was not correct? Or was the melody and effects disorientating? Also I have edited the first post with the instrumental just in case farther advice needs to be given if the instrumental is incorrect...well theory wise.
 

Blackbird

Ritsu's Renegades
Defender of Defoko
Thank you very much! While I do admit I'm still trying to process the first half, I do appreciate the feedback and suggestions! So either the vocals or the instrumental itself was not correct? Or was the melody and effects disorientating? Also I have edited the first post with the instrumental just in case farther advice needs to be given if the instrumental is incorrect...well theory wise.
The main thing i was trying to point out is that i feel that the vocals and the instrumental are competing too much tonally which makes the piece sound too chaotic to me. Which may be what you're going for if you're wanting an unsettling or dissonant sound but i feel it would be better if the melody and the instrumental could harmonize more while adding in dissonant flavors for character instead of dominating the entire mix. But like i said i'm not really sure if that's just how you want it or not and it might be just what i'd rather hear.
 
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Kuku Klock

Ruko's Ruffians
Defender of Defoko
Thread starter
The main thing i was trying to point out is that i feel that the vocals and the instrumental are competing too much tonally which makes the piece sound too chaotic to me. Which may be what you're going for if you're wanting an unsettling or dissonant sound but i feel it would be better if the melody and the instrumental could harmonize more while adding in dissonant flavors for character instead of dominating the entire mix. But like i said i'm not really sure if that's just how you want it or not and it might be just what i'd rather hear.
Oh Thank you. I was leaning in that chaotic direction. (which is another reason I wanted honest opinions to see if someone would say its chaotic so I did hit my mark a little bit. Thank you again) Since The singer is basically going crazy that someone is leaving them, so a more acute case of Autophobia(which is the fear of being left alone.) I was debating on making harmonies though so your input helps with my decision.