****ing enough to be again treaten as nothing but a SLAVE and enough of negative stuffs appearing all at once
I am deeply hurt because people keep on minimizing my pain, they even dare to be "shocked" that I can burst and go deeply mad but hey, would you stay as peaceful as Dalaï-lama is you were treaten the same way ? I doubt you would. I swear, I had to hide it the msot I could, because lately shit happened again, I felt again down and as I hate to show my weak side because it's often amde fun of it, I try to act like if everything was alright and I deeply hate it, I hate to lie about it, I hate to suffer silently so people won't attack me or push me down again
I even try to keep on helping people while having my own cross to carry on (and **** it if it's not the way you say it in English, anyway I don't even care at all) and yesterday, what happens? A close friend of mine nearly IMPLYING that I WOULDNT CARE ABOUT THEIR PROBLEMS
Like heck I do, that I do everything to make this person (and other people as well) as happy and cheerful as possible, to cure their pain or at least, consolate them and then what happens ? I get this question. I've other questions to ask. Who had to deal with depressive status of someone else for a ****ing week ? Who had to deal with negative thoughts ? Who had to ****ing say nothing about her personal pain and fears ? Wo's probably going to have someone dying the family but yet, seems she's not worhty enough to be rassured about it ? Hein ??
And when I beg for help, even if it's a tiny one and even if I show openly it embarrasses me to take the risk to annoy them with it, what do I obtain ? Nothing. It's like "GTFO qurl"
Also ****ing enough of discrimnation, especially the ones NO ONE OR ALMOST don't want to talk about (because yeah, seems if you're overweight/obese, you have less rights than the average Citizen, or any discriminated class and you must subish every shitty prejudice people throw at you and say more often in your back, or sometimes in front of you, without having the right to say anything)
A young man was pushed down and rejected because he was over 200 kg (yeah, go convert it yourself, I'm too pissed to do it) while he had to fly to the US to be cured because NO he wasn't fat due to overeating, but because of A GENETIC ILLNESS. But seems anorexic lovers prefer to deny this possibility. And he had to go there because NO ONE WANTS TO ERADICATE THAT PART OF THE PROBLEM
And you can't ****ing tell me he couldn't fly there because if he managed to go there once, he could go back there !!!
Also enough of retarded mother****ers who rate down countries... Of course, I understand, situation is getting worse thanks to stupid politics, but does that mean you have to sacrify a whole population ? Plus those suckers say "pay less people" and such, but I bet they're paid millions of bucks to stay their ****ing arse on a ****ing chair in front of a dumb computer with meaningless figures whose only words are just "gimme the money and die poor"
And also, why, WHY are some characters sharing the same name as my closest friends' ???
It may sound totally silly but freak it, I can't stand to see a character in a fiction (or even in a real fact) having the name of someone I deeply love and that the said character gets killed, get sick, gets shitstorm in their life etc
I swear, I'm really scared because I see this, it would happen to the real *insertnameofpersonhere* I know and used to talk....
And know I'm pretty sure some will jump at my throat because I dared to write down my thoughts because I've enough to keep them and taking the risk to get again another breakdown just because I'm worthless.