Critique my experimental original?

[WretchedKalamity]

this thing sorta happened via midis in studio one I guess... can I get an opinion on this? Improving is what I want to get so yeah

 

[Kiyoteru]

It sounds okay, but.. disorganized? There doesn't seem to be any structure to the track. I'm guessing you might want to have a general song form, like verse-chorus-verse-chorus-bridge-chorus. For choruses you'd want to have one distinct and catchy melody for the vocals, and all of the instruments going at once. Then the verses have less things going on. Even if you just alternate between the two in a simple pattern, it breaks it up into sections and makes it less repetitive, so the listener is likely to stick around for longer to hear the whole thing. Of course there's also other song structures, but that's just the generic one.

 

[WretchedKalamity]

It sounds okay, but.. disorganized? There doesn't seem to be any structure to the track. I'm guessing you might want to have a general song form, like verse-chorus-verse-chorus-bridge-chorus. For choruses you'd want to have one distinct and catchy melody for the vocals, and all of the instruments going at once. Then the verses have less things going on. Even if you just alternate between the two in a simple pattern, it breaks it up into sections and makes it less repetitive, so the listener is likely to stick around for longer to hear the whole thing. Of course there's also other song structures, but that's just the generic one.

thanks ^^ I figured I was missing a lot because it was my first ever song, so yeah, I'll keep that in mind!