How does this tuning sound?

[ArtsyP!nk]

I've been working on this cover of Photon Blue and I got to the second verse. I tried tuning this part, but it sounds...weird. Any reason why? The sample below shows two attempts at tuning.
https://clyp.it/yilseo4w

 

[YaYuYo]

I think you may be overusing end breaths. I feel like there are times where ending breaths are a little much, specifically in areas with small rests. If you're looking for a more realistic sound in this UTAUloid's vocals, maybe get rid of some of the end breaths?

QUICK EDIT: Besides that, I don't hear anything off! I love your tuning style!

 

[ArtsyP!nk]

It lowkey sounds like Yuri's out of breath XD. Thank you for the compliment! I'll make sure to delete some of them, hopefully it doesn't ruin the timing while I do so.

 

[lunari162]

If it's okay for me to comment on this, I'm going to agree with what YaYuYo said about the end breaths. Everyone's tuning style is different, so that's really the only thing that stands out to me! The rest sounds fine and consistent.
(Quick side note: pretending that x is a vowel, if you were using "x R" for those notes, you can add a 2 to the end so it's "x R2." That'll change it from an end breath to a natural rest, and it shouldn't mess with the timing. I'm not sure if that'll help/if you used it in that sample and I missed it, but I thought I'd at least mention it!)