song writing

[princess-laughter]

please help me with my lyrics, i get extreme writers block:

you'll never understand
until you know how much it hurts
you set my heart on fire
and left me there to burn
you told me that you needed me
but look how times have changed
you never really noticed
thought love was just a game

... I wrote more but uhm... at this point it began to sound too angsty.  please help

 

[Zoku]

You should repost this topic at the Help and Advice board.

 

[adriann]

You should repost this topic at the Help and Advice board.

Umm no actually, it is quite confusing when a category labeled "Help and Advice" has a description like "New to UTAU and need some pointers? Look no further! Our subforums also feature helpful resources & community support." Just making it apparent that song writing has nothing to do with asking for help around UTAU, the program...? Maybe "Writing" would be a better category, for there really isn't any music help section. Just saiyan.

In any case, I'll at least try to be helpful.

I'm no songwriter or lyricist, be wary! But here I go! O:
What I try to do when I write lyrics is write a poem. I mean, it's what a song is most commonly known to... be like... right? So! I try to keep every group of lines the same amount of syllables. And I structure it all sort of like stanzas to a poem. Let's say, the lines in each verse all have umm fifteen syllables? Then a bridge section would have lines with five syllables, and maybe the chorus has a different structure? And then rinse and repeat, in whichever way you believe may support what you're trying to say in the song, while maintaining a rhythm! Look up different song structures, they're really interesting. :D

As for the narrative aspect of it, try to develop a story. Well, that's what I try.
Like, from what you posted, the song would be about someone who feels like their previous love interest has left them for irrational reasons! Now, develop that further. What does that person do? What are they now contemplating? And possibly bring in the viewpoint of the person they're talking to/ about? What's the course of action!
Also think about the mood. What do you want to provoke into your listeners? What do you want them to think as they listen to these words? And how do you want to make them feel?
Consider the accompanying music as well. Maybe an all vocal/ A-Capella piece will really create that mood?

Ah, I tried. orz

 

[poundthemochi]

What I Added Is In Bold:

you'll never understand
until you know how much it hurts
you set my heart on fire
and left me there to burn
you told me that you needed me
but look how times have changed
you never really noticed
thought love was just a game
I thought you were to blame.
      Yet you blame it on me.
      Then you lighted my heart on fire again and said these words "I love you"

Anyways this is just a suggestion. :P