A recent conversation with some UTAU users confirmed that I've been apparently glorifying the word "shonen", since it's clearly a negative word in reference to a young boy and I already know that. But then, that made me think: my UTAU are called XOTA units. XOTA, which is pronounced like "shonen" and even the way it's spelled has a negative connotation in several languages. In all honesty, I spelled the group name the way I did to prevent such things but I was wrong (as usual). I was wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong, double wrong, even triple wrong! At this point, I'm not even sure what I should even do with the "XOTA" units or whatever I should call them now. Already from the beginning, I knew that folks who are either familiar or unfamiliar with UTAU would tell me "You're not welcome here", whether they meant it or not. I may sound like I'm overreacting, but who really knows. I especially don't even know. Maybe I should've done what I've done years ago and either isolate myself, take a forever hiatus, quit the community, or some other thing. Even if I did one of the following, quoting Roxas from Kingdom Hearts, "No one will miss me". I'm not blaming anyone for why this is happening, but I feel like for the sake of others and not myself, I should stay away from the UTAU community for a while until I feel like my UTAU deserve to even show their faces again. Besides, the world will probably be better off without them, many will probably say. I don't even know anymore. I just really don't know anymore.