This Broken Heart Needs Time to Mend

Discussion in 'Farewells' started by Animé Fan, Feb 10, 2017.

  1. Animé Fan

    Animé Fan Head of the Shonen Academy Defender of Defoko

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    A recent conversation with some UTAU users confirmed that I've been apparently glorifying the word "shonen", since it's clearly a negative word in reference to a young boy and I already know that. But then, that made me think: my UTAU are called XOTA units. XOTA, which is pronounced like "shonen" and even the way it's spelled has a negative connotation in several languages. In all honesty, I spelled the group name the way I did to prevent such things but I was wrong (as usual). I was wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong, double wrong, even triple wrong!

    At this point, I'm not even sure what I should even do with the "XOTA" units or whatever I should call them now. Already from the beginning, I knew that folks who are either familiar or unfamiliar with UTAU would tell me "You're not welcome here", whether they meant it or not. I may sound like I'm overreacting, but who really knows. I especially don't even know. Maybe I should've done what I've done years ago and either isolate myself, take a forever hiatus, quit the community, or some other thing. Even if I did one of the following, quoting Roxas from Kingdom Hearts, "No one will miss me".

    I'm not blaming anyone for why this is happening, but I feel like for the sake of others and not myself, I should stay away from the UTAU community for a while until I feel like my UTAU deserve to even show their faces again. Besides, the world will probably be better off without them, many will probably say. I don't even know anymore. I just really don't know anymore.
     
    Last edited: Feb 10, 2017
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  3. Crystalline

    Crystalline Momo's Minion

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    I'm sorry this is happening to you.

    I haven't listened to your Utauloids, but I saw how cute and original they were.
    I like young boys who act cute, but that doesn't mean I "love" Shotas like some Pedo.

    Yes, shonen/shoujo has gotten negativity due to sick-minded people, but you have the power to make them cute without making them as sex objects.

    You can give your Utauloids a redesign, improved personality, and a new name unit if this is becoming a problem. You can still keep them without scrapping them.

    No need to overreact, we all can make mistakes, especially when it comes to anything Japanese related.
     
  4. Animé Fan

    Animé Fan Head of the Shonen Academy Defender of Defoko

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    That's the reason why I only work with young boy characters: in hopes of finding a way to eliminate the stigma that "defines" the word "shonen" and the images of said characters. Each UTAU I make is based on certain aspects of the "shonen" concept or young boy image as a whole, especially in the fandom community, whether positive and/or negative aspects. Unfortunately, things never go exactly as planned for me whenever I aim for a goal of any kind and I'm always forced to do things and suffer alone and in isolation.

    Personally, I love my UTAU just the way they are and I wouldn't change a thing about them and I am deeply aware of the consequences I'll face doing what I do, but for the sake of the more indifferent and supposedly antagonistic individuals, the XOTA units are just going to take a break for the time being. Though I doubt anybody would care.

    Thanks for the concern.
     
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  5. Leo

    Leo oh you know Global Mod Moderator Defender of Defoko

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    I think you have to be very aware and conscious of how your idea and execution can come across to people, especially because "shonen+shoujo" have been majorly taken to be pedophilic + sexual in nature. You can try to take the terms and reclaim them, but the negative association to pedophilia will generally always persist. It's kind of like LGBT+ people reclaiming the term "queer", it's a slur, has been used as a slur, is still used as a slur, and not everyone is going to see and understand that people are reclaiming the word. Some people don't even want to see the word being reclaimed, because it's a heavy reminder of the LGBTphobia people face and have had directed at them. (Just kind of an example).

    An obsession or infatuation with the young boy image can also sometimes come across as predatory in nature? I'm not accusing you of any of these things, I just want to let you know that people are going to associate it with that as a kind of explanation really.

    Most people, from what I've seen, most people who are victims of pedophilia and the like, have been wanting to do away with the terms shonen and shoujo to describe young characters, or the terms as a genre in general because it's just associated heavily with predation and pedophilia.

    Topics such as these that are highly associated with pedophilia have to be taken with a lot of caution and care to make sure you're not stepping any boundaries or crossing any lines, and have to be made very clear your stance on the issue because as it stands, at the moment, there's not really any way to break the association "shonen" has for your specific project.
    In any case,
    I haven't seen anyone attacking you or being mean about your UTAU, but if there have been any incidences, I would really appreciate if you could PM me with details and I can look into it.
    Also this isn't anything against you or accusing or blaming you of anything just so you know, it's just some words of caution and advice. Nothing is directed at you really.
     
  6. Animé Fan

    Animé Fan Head of the Shonen Academy Defender of Defoko

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    I wasn't really bullied. I just feel constrained aout how others think about how I handle my UTAU and interests and I'm truly aware of that. I really wish there was a way for me to do what I do without inciting unnecessary attention and having to make too drastic changes that'll satisfy others but not me, but unfortunately it's like the only solution to this is if I discontinue this project and get rid of my UTAU for good.

    I understand what you're telling me is a warning and I appreciate it, but whether it made me feel better or not, it didn't really make me feel better. I don't even know what to do and think anymore.
     
  7. Crystalline

    Crystalline Momo's Minion

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    I see.
    That's understandable. If it's a break you need then you can take a break.
     
  8. KNΞMΛTCS

    KNΞMΛTCS Just an UtaForum user Defender of Defoko

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    I believe that the principal of Utau is one of freedom, and as long as you're not doing anything sketchy or illegal it's your right to do so. Seeing as your XOTA project seems not at all sexual (besides a connotation from the name), I say more power to you.

    However, the name is bound to cause trouble. If you want to play nicely with other users, I would highly suggest a name change. The choice is yours however - just be prepared to reap the consequences of what you choose. It's not anyone's fault for incorrectly assuming sexual things when they hear the name, since even a simple Google search for the word "shonen" brings up the definition: "...is Japanese slang describing an attraction to young boys and is shonen in manga" as the very first result. Now I'm aware of the alleged distinction between "shonen" and "shotacon", but the majority of people are not - and the fact that a search of one word returns the definition of the other proves that. People who assume your project is perverted are simply going off what they've learned, so you should not be offended. Additionally, it's your job to politely explain that your project is not one of a sexual nature. If, however, someone still insists that your project is sexual or offensive after you've explained to them it is not (which is bound to happen sooner or later), that's their problem, not your own. Simply ignore these people and move on. If they harass you, do not give in. Harassment is grounds for a ban on many websites - including this one - and you should not let it slide.

    Finally, you should never let other's opinions force you into doing something you don't want to do, or out of doing something you do want to do. Stand strong, and do whatever you want, as long as it's morally OK with you and not illegal.
     
    Last edited: Feb 10, 2017
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  9. Leo

    Leo oh you know Global Mod Moderator Defender of Defoko

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    That's basically what I was trying to say too. Most of us know that you don't have any ill intention with your project, just that the name will probably cause issue with some people who aren't aware because of the connotation shonen has in general.
     
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  10. Animé Fan

    Animé Fan Head of the Shonen Academy Defender of Defoko

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    As I tell everybody who approaches my UTAU and me and always in a polite way; it's really the other party that doesn't and refuses to understand. I personslly don't want to change the project name and the fact that I'm solely bearing the burdens of my own actions and allowing others the satisfaction of never seeing the XOTA units ever again is enough for me to handle. I think it's best that I stay away from UTAU for ad load as I can until the community is willing to accept them back, which would probably be a while or never.
     
  11. Shasta

    Shasta Professional Lurker Global Mod Defender of Defoko

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    I'm a member of the "other party," I can DM you everyone else involved if you'd like. We were just trying to give them a heads up about the negative connotation the word shonen tends to have. We had no ill intentions, but if it's harassment or against the rules to give people a heads up, then I'll be seeing my way out. I'll take the fall for the rest of the "other party."
     
  12. Animé Fan

    Animé Fan Head of the Shonen Academy Defender of Defoko

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    I just really hate abiding to what others want and prefer and considering what's become of Project XOTA, I've already failed. I have been ever since I started this project. I just need to be away from here as long as I can.
    --- Double Post Merged, Feb 10, 2017 ---
    It's not your fault. It's mine. I never should've brought the topic up in the first place. I'm not blaming you, really. I just need to be alone now. Sorry for the trouble I caused to this community.
     
  13. KNΞMΛTCS

    KNΞMΛTCS Just an UtaForum user Defender of Defoko

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    There is absolutely no reason to completely withdraw yourself from your own project just for the satisfaction of others - not only will you never get to do what you enjoy with that mindset, but it can really take a toll on yourself as well. I live with a family member who has a similar issue - they won't do anything unless they know it's going to please their peers. It really hurts them, and I hate seeing other people fall into the same trap.

    I may suggest taking a break from this as well - but not "until everybody changes": people aren't going to change. You just need to take a break for a week or two to get your head straight. After that, you might be able to make a wiser decision on your project.
     
  14. Animé Fan

    Animé Fan Head of the Shonen Academy Defender of Defoko

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    I don't expect anyone to change, just to acknowledge. And I do appreciate the tips others give me, but any format of advice given to me always feels like they're telling me what to do. That's how I personally perceive it, so I'm the one who's to blame and no one else.
     
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  15. Piia

    Piia Retired User Retired User Defender of Defoko

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    Hi @Animé Fan,
    I'm so sorry to hear that. Tbh I thought that they were quite interesting and I really liked your motive/movement with them, it was really unique. I do hope that your broken heart mends soon.
     

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