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Vent/Rant Thread
- Thread starter theLooneyLibrarian
- Start date
...I think there's something wrong with me.
The other night I stayed up until 5 A.M, even though I was already exhausted. Any NORMAL person would have gone to bed early the next night. Well...I couldn't.
I laid down at 9 P.M.
And shifted positions randomly until 11:30.
Then I watched TV, still laying down, until 12:30.
I didn't sleep until 2 A.M.
Even though I was exhausted.
And ready to pass out.
And cry a little.
I think my brain is broken. That sounds stupid, but I'm legitimately scared. What if I can't sleep? What if I have insomnia? What if my anxiety is getting worse?
Actually, night in general has been bad for me lately. As soon as the sun goes down, I start feeling anxious and paranoid and restless, and I feel like I won't be happy until the sun comes up again.
I'm getting really scared...
The other night I stayed up until 5 A.M, even though I was already exhausted. Any NORMAL person would have gone to bed early the next night. Well...I couldn't.
I laid down at 9 P.M.
And shifted positions randomly until 11:30.
Then I watched TV, still laying down, until 12:30.
I didn't sleep until 2 A.M.
Even though I was exhausted.
And ready to pass out.
And cry a little.
I think my brain is broken. That sounds stupid, but I'm legitimately scared. What if I can't sleep? What if I have insomnia? What if my anxiety is getting worse?
Actually, night in general has been bad for me lately. As soon as the sun goes down, I start feeling anxious and paranoid and restless, and I feel like I won't be happy until the sun comes up again.
I'm getting really scared...
We worked everything out. She finally decided to tell me what was wrong after months of being secretive. Hopefully she'll learn to be more open with me in the future because I do wanna be there for her.Angel link said:
/Ranting about things that don't matter to you unless you get labeled a lot/
/end of Sky's stupid rant./
I'm really really sick of stereotypes? I mean, Yeah, I look "Scene" or maybe "Emo" but that doesn't really mean anything;; Yeah, I dye my hair a whole bunch of crazy colors and I wear skinny jeans, so what? Also, I'm sick of people saying "Lol I belong in the mental hospital :3" like it's a good thing? It's not cool. If you're there, you have real big issues and you're there for MENTAL HELP. It's not fun there. The nurses often treat you like the scum of the earth. I don't know, this has just been on my mind...
Angel
Momo's Minion
Now I have something to 'rant' about?
@ I feel you.. it's not nice saying people should go to a mental hospital no matter who they are. It's the last place you want to be.
So a new school year is coming. Sometimes I dislike the fact that people always remembered me as the 'girl who always drew a lot'. When I was young, I was quiet, hardly made any friends and a real crybaby, and even now I'll cry if I got a bad score on my maths test... I cry because I feel like I have let down people not myself.
Art is my passion. It's always been my dream for my art to liked. So, I decided to become a mangaka/comic artist/artist. But no-one treated me seriously. My ex-friend told me that I wouldn't make any money, but that's not I wanted to achieve! I want to make people happy, it makes me happy!
Next year is going to be weird. Our classes are getting mixed up because we choose different subjects, and I can't help but think it's going to be like this year I don't make enough friends. I don't get along very well. My ex-friend gave me a rocky road and said bad things about me to people, so none of her friends like me and they think I'm scary. It's not fair that people can prejudge you before you even meet them. My friend never felt about how I felt. And I never ever told lies behind her back.
Tl;dr and in the end, I feel very anti-social and generally awkward to be around because of my behaviour and such. But I guess you can't see that online orz
Sometimes I wish I was like people in my class who go out with their friends and have fun etc.
I've never really experienced that before.
=3= I'm just gonna shove this terrible feelings away and draw some more. And one day they can shove thier prejudice into the bin and stuff! >n<
Art is my passion. It's always been my dream for my art to liked. So, I decided to become a mangaka/comic artist/artist. But no-one treated me seriously. My ex-friend told me that I wouldn't make any money, but that's not I wanted to achieve! I want to make people happy, it makes me happy!
Next year is going to be weird. Our classes are getting mixed up because we choose different subjects, and I can't help but think it's going to be like this year I don't make enough friends. I don't get along very well. My ex-friend gave me a rocky road and said bad things about me to people, so none of her friends like me and they think I'm scary. It's not fair that people can prejudge you before you even meet them. My friend never felt about how I felt. And I never ever told lies behind her back.
Tl;dr and in the end, I feel very anti-social and generally awkward to be around because of my behaviour and such. But I guess you can't see that online orz
Sometimes I wish I was like people in my class who go out with their friends and have fun etc.
I've never really experienced that before.
=3= I'm just gonna shove this terrible feelings away and draw some more. And one day they can shove thier prejudice into the bin and stuff! >n<
@ I feel you.. it's not nice saying people should go to a mental hospital no matter who they are. It's the last place you want to be.
I feel like I've abused my tumblr enough so I'll use this thread instead.
Now, before I go on let me just say that I do appreciate favorites on dA I honestly do.
Now, before I go on let me just say that I do appreciate favorites on dA I honestly do.
Okay, but, it gets incredibly discouraging when I post some sketches and people comment on how beautiful they are but when I post something with a background and lots of coloring and hard work...no one says anything they just favorite and go on about their way like "Oh, that's nice I guess." Almost like they're favoriting because they have to. I mean thank you for the favorite I do appreciate it but when they don't say anything...well when only one person says something...it's like I feel like I did a terrible job even though while I was working on the piece I thought I was doing a very good job.
I mean it's literally like:
Me: -posts sketches-
Everyone: Oh hey! How nice! That's so awesome and beautifully done!
Me: -posts hard worked on illustration-
Everyone: ...-cricket chirps-
...it's like why do I even bother? I try to step out of my comfort zone and improve but no one really cares. It seems like all they want is stuff that takes me five minutes to do or it's not worth mentioning. It's like this is why I don't do backgrounds or stuff like that not only because I'm not that good but when I do try to do it no one really cares. And then I look at my friends when they post stuff like that and everyone loves it and "wow it looks really nice I can see all the hard work you put into it nice job!" so why am I different?
Is my stuff really that shitty no one wants to hurt my feelings? Which is stupid because not saying anything ends up hurting me a lot because I end up feeling terrible. I'm not looking for super praise just some acknowledgement that my work wasn't all for naught.
"Oh Iris you just post stuff at that time of day when no one is online!"
Oh...so why do I get like 10 faves, five from people I know, yet only one comment from someone who DIDN'T favorite? What sense does that make not none.
"You should be happy people actually look at your stuff TO favorite! I'm lucky if I get one favorite!"
Well good for you I'm sorry if this seems incredibly selfish but when you post sketches that everyone seems to love and think is "beautiful" it still hurts when you work hard on something only to have everyone clam up all of a sudden. I just don't understand how everyone else I know posts amazing stuff and people love it but when I do it...it just doesn't seem good enough. It's a serious kick in the face for someone who thought she was getting better.
I mean it's literally like:
Me: -posts sketches-
Everyone: Oh hey! How nice! That's so awesome and beautifully done!
Me: -posts hard worked on illustration-
Everyone: ...-cricket chirps-
...it's like why do I even bother? I try to step out of my comfort zone and improve but no one really cares. It seems like all they want is stuff that takes me five minutes to do or it's not worth mentioning. It's like this is why I don't do backgrounds or stuff like that not only because I'm not that good but when I do try to do it no one really cares. And then I look at my friends when they post stuff like that and everyone loves it and "wow it looks really nice I can see all the hard work you put into it nice job!" so why am I different?
Is my stuff really that shitty no one wants to hurt my feelings? Which is stupid because not saying anything ends up hurting me a lot because I end up feeling terrible. I'm not looking for super praise just some acknowledgement that my work wasn't all for naught.
"Oh Iris you just post stuff at that time of day when no one is online!"
Oh...so why do I get like 10 faves, five from people I know, yet only one comment from someone who DIDN'T favorite? What sense does that make not none.
"You should be happy people actually look at your stuff TO favorite! I'm lucky if I get one favorite!"
Well good for you I'm sorry if this seems incredibly selfish but when you post sketches that everyone seems to love and think is "beautiful" it still hurts when you work hard on something only to have everyone clam up all of a sudden. I just don't understand how everyone else I know posts amazing stuff and people love it but when I do it...it just doesn't seem good enough. It's a serious kick in the face for someone who thought she was getting better.
Rai
Teto's Territory
Short and concise.
This is a rant thread right? No reply needed.
I'm finding less and less reason to do/continue anything each day other than just for the sake of doing it or because of routine. I'm not at the point where I'd want to err...take my life, but still...I feel very apathetic towards things I used to love and enjoy.
Talking with friends helps a bit.
Talking with friends helps a bit.
This is a rant thread right? No reply needed.
Well, I've been gone for a while not like anyone noticed haha so what better to start off with than a nice rant, huh?
I hate people my age so, so much.
If you've never seen the "Making the Bus Moniter Cry" video, it was pretty much a ten minute video about a bunch of kids being huge dicks to an older woman. They do not stop, they do not rest, just a constant barrage of insults to a woman that they most likely barely even knew. Jesus, they're not even that good with their insults. Just uncreative bull about how she's "fat" or "ugly", constantly, for ten minutes.
And may I say, that is probably one of the worst videos I've ever seen in my life. It's kind of old by now, I know, but holy frick was it bad.
This is exactly why adults aren't always trustworthy of people my age.
This is why, when someone acts dumb or ignorant, they get called a "dumb thirteen year old".
This is one of the reasons why I hesitate saying my age on the internet.
It isn't restricted to that video, either. My school is pretty much a gathering of dumb. One of my best friends is an avid pot smoker, and the boyfriend that I was peer-pressured into accepting is one, as well. Jesus Christ, we were in middle school. What made you even consider getting into drug use?! I know that you hate your parents and all, but ****ing yourself up isn't the way to get back at them, because, OBVIOUSLY, it's a giant double edged sword! You're screwing yourself over, not them!
Another best friend of mine has a whole different problem. She is usually stereotyped as the school floosie, to the point that someone asked if she'd been with someone! OF COURSE SHE HASN'T, YOU IGNORANT DOUCHE, WE'RE THIRTEEN FOR CHRIST'S SAKE. To be honest, though, I can't say I blame them for thinking that way. She dresses provocatively, pretty much kisses any "cute boy" that comes along, and just all around acts like she should be on Jersey Shore when she gets older. Sometimes she dangerously reminds me of my cousin. This cousin has gotten four abortions, might have been a gogo dancer, and is still fighting with my aunt like a ****ing preteen.
But one of the things that I'm starting to draw the line at is the kids that she hangs around with. One of them I've managed to make okay friends with, but they are overall pretty crazy, if you ask me. I've been pushed into hanging out with them more than once, and I have to say NEVER AGAIN. I will provide some reasons.
1. They stole a dally (if that's how you spell it. if not, the kind of skateboard looking thing they use to carry large furniture and other things) from a construction site and rode it down a nearby hill.
2. They've been banned from various stores around town.
3. They carry pot and walk around stoned out of their minds like it's nothing.
4. They ate pizza from the side of the road.
5. One of them screamed in a public place "PENIS GOES HERE!" while pointing to her mouth.
6. Constant drama. And when I say constant, I mean constant.
My favorite story pertaining to them, though, is the fact that one, who is only thirteen, mind you, is running around with a nineteen year old. A ****ing NINETEEN YEAR OLD. He doesn't have a job, he's constantly very stoned, and keeps hitting on girls six years younger than him. And one of them went for it! However, she's convinced that she is "special" to him because he hasn't cheated on her yet like all of the other girls he's with. What.
And here I stand, a socially awkward homebody who is getting crotchety WAY too early. Who is starting to believe that she has no true real life friends. Who is beginning to detest her world and all who inhabit it.
And I really, really hate that it has to be that way.
If you've never seen the "Making the Bus Moniter Cry" video, it was pretty much a ten minute video about a bunch of kids being huge dicks to an older woman. They do not stop, they do not rest, just a constant barrage of insults to a woman that they most likely barely even knew. Jesus, they're not even that good with their insults. Just uncreative bull about how she's "fat" or "ugly", constantly, for ten minutes.
And may I say, that is probably one of the worst videos I've ever seen in my life. It's kind of old by now, I know, but holy frick was it bad.
This is exactly why adults aren't always trustworthy of people my age.
This is why, when someone acts dumb or ignorant, they get called a "dumb thirteen year old".
This is one of the reasons why I hesitate saying my age on the internet.
It isn't restricted to that video, either. My school is pretty much a gathering of dumb. One of my best friends is an avid pot smoker, and the boyfriend that I was peer-pressured into accepting is one, as well. Jesus Christ, we were in middle school. What made you even consider getting into drug use?! I know that you hate your parents and all, but ****ing yourself up isn't the way to get back at them, because, OBVIOUSLY, it's a giant double edged sword! You're screwing yourself over, not them!
Another best friend of mine has a whole different problem. She is usually stereotyped as the school floosie, to the point that someone asked if she'd been with someone! OF COURSE SHE HASN'T, YOU IGNORANT DOUCHE, WE'RE THIRTEEN FOR CHRIST'S SAKE. To be honest, though, I can't say I blame them for thinking that way. She dresses provocatively, pretty much kisses any "cute boy" that comes along, and just all around acts like she should be on Jersey Shore when she gets older. Sometimes she dangerously reminds me of my cousin. This cousin has gotten four abortions, might have been a gogo dancer, and is still fighting with my aunt like a ****ing preteen.
But one of the things that I'm starting to draw the line at is the kids that she hangs around with. One of them I've managed to make okay friends with, but they are overall pretty crazy, if you ask me. I've been pushed into hanging out with them more than once, and I have to say NEVER AGAIN. I will provide some reasons.
1. They stole a dally (if that's how you spell it. if not, the kind of skateboard looking thing they use to carry large furniture and other things) from a construction site and rode it down a nearby hill.
2. They've been banned from various stores around town.
3. They carry pot and walk around stoned out of their minds like it's nothing.
4. They ate pizza from the side of the road.
5. One of them screamed in a public place "PENIS GOES HERE!" while pointing to her mouth.
6. Constant drama. And when I say constant, I mean constant.
My favorite story pertaining to them, though, is the fact that one, who is only thirteen, mind you, is running around with a nineteen year old. A ****ing NINETEEN YEAR OLD. He doesn't have a job, he's constantly very stoned, and keeps hitting on girls six years younger than him. And one of them went for it! However, she's convinced that she is "special" to him because he hasn't cheated on her yet like all of the other girls he's with. What.
And here I stand, a socially awkward homebody who is getting crotchety WAY too early. Who is starting to believe that she has no true real life friends. Who is beginning to detest her world and all who inhabit it.
And I really, really hate that it has to be that way.
Good thing I saw this. Perhaps I can get some of my angsty feelings to go away...
I basically just feel like crap, half of the time. Like, sometimes I just get this overwhelming sadness that's lonely and says to me, "you fail at life, give up now." Sometimes I can't help but just look in the mirror and ask myself who I am, where I'm going, and what I want out of life. It's times like that, that I don't feel like doing anything but asking myself questions that don't have answers.
To be quite honest, I'm so jealous of people have that special someone to make them feel good about themselves and help them get through all of their troubles. I don't have that kind of person...and I wonder if I ever will. It's like sinking in a pit of sand, and there's no one to pull you out. So you fall in deeper, each time. And occasionally, I'll snap out of it, sure. But then I have to face pretending to be strong in front of my friends...just trying to fool people into thinking that I'm a happy person. And the worst part of it is, nobody would know what I was talking about if I described this feeling to them...
To be quite honest, I'm so jealous of people have that special someone to make them feel good about themselves and help them get through all of their troubles. I don't have that kind of person...and I wonder if I ever will. It's like sinking in a pit of sand, and there's no one to pull you out. So you fall in deeper, each time. And occasionally, I'll snap out of it, sure. But then I have to face pretending to be strong in front of my friends...just trying to fool people into thinking that I'm a happy person. And the worst part of it is, nobody would know what I was talking about if I described this feeling to them...
I'm just depressed
/another stupid rant, don't mind me, I don't matter../
I have almost no will to do anything anymore
I don't want to get up
I don't want to move
I don't want to eat
I don't want to sleep
I want somebody to listen and understand, and I want people to not be disgusted with me.
I don't want to get the same reaction anymore.
I want to be able to talk without feeling ashamed, and I want friends who make me feel better. I don't have any of those anymore.
I used to have tons of people that I used to talk to, and for a while I was feeling better. But I guess we just... drifted away?
I'm sick and tired -literally- of all this. I don't like feeling weak and useless and shaky.
I just wish I was more confidant in myself...
I don't want to get up
I don't want to move
I don't want to eat
I don't want to sleep
I want somebody to listen and understand, and I want people to not be disgusted with me.
I don't want to get the same reaction anymore.
I want to be able to talk without feeling ashamed, and I want friends who make me feel better. I don't have any of those anymore.
I used to have tons of people that I used to talk to, and for a while I was feeling better. But I guess we just... drifted away?
I'm sick and tired -literally- of all this. I don't like feeling weak and useless and shaky.
I just wish I was more confidant in myself...
This is... really starting to get annoying. I like this guy since like the beginning of the school year and we were friends but then kinda drifted away towards the end. Three months before school ends I decided that I didn't like him any more, but after that.... I was still thinking about him. I couldn't stop, and I've been thinking about him all summer. I've stopped dreaming about him, but I can't forget about him. He removed me from his friends on Facebook, and I don't want to add him again or stare at his page to see what he's doing because for one, that's creepy, and two, I know better than that. I find myself fretting over whether or not we'll have classes together again, considering myself lucky that I had even two classes with him last year. I barely know the guy, I just met him last year, but I can't stop thinking about him. The last guy I liked I got over him easily by telling myself that I was wasting my time.... but it's different this time. The worst part is I think that he used to like ME back, but then he suddenly ignored me. I don't if it's because he still likes me or if I did something to piss him off. I'm scared, and I don't know if I'll ever be able to move on. It's so hard, and I miss him so badly, but I also could care less what he is doing at this very moment. I feel so pathetic for letting him do this to me. 
What have I done?
So I decided to give this guy a chance, and date him. We've been friends for two years, and yeah, I started to like him a few months ago. It's a very comfortable like, not head over heels, heart racing kind of like. He knows I'm going to a different school next year and stuff, but we figured since he was already moving near me, it wouldn't be a problem. It was late when we were talking about everything, and we were like, "Hell, let's change our relationship status", I was tired, and a bit sick (I had a fever), so I agreed, and oh my god how much I regret it. What if we go on our first date, which is soon, and I find out I didn't like him as much as I thought I did. What if I lose him as a friend. What if I embarrass him, or make him upset, since all our friends know. I know I'm over thinking it and if we do end up deciding it's not working out, we can just tell our friends that. But I don't know, I'm so afraid I'm going to hurt him. I just... I just... UGH, I can't take it, I've been overcome with regret and my stomach has been in knots, because of this. I hope it does work out, not because I'm scared of being hurt, but because I'm scared of him getting hurt. I sort of wish I told him I just want to stay friends. But I'll wait, I'll give him the chance on the first date, maybe the second (if it comes around, since we won't be able to see each other as much because I'm changing schools), but if I feel like I don't become more attracted to him other than the "yeah, he's a really nice guy, and I like him, let's see where this could go", I might have to tell him, it's not going to work out. I guess I'm about 10x more anxious about this is because he's liked me for over 2 years now, he told me, he told me since he met me, he's been basically head over heels for me.
I guess I'm also anxious/scared, because I've only liked 2 guys before. Let's call the first guy who I ever really liked Coconut, and this current guy Bean. To cut to the chase, Coconut liked me too, but told me he felt he wasn't enough for me, and also that he liked someone else more. I was crushed. Completely and totally. What if I do this to Bean?
So I decided to give this guy a chance, and date him. We've been friends for two years, and yeah, I started to like him a few months ago. It's a very comfortable like, not head over heels, heart racing kind of like. He knows I'm going to a different school next year and stuff, but we figured since he was already moving near me, it wouldn't be a problem. It was late when we were talking about everything, and we were like, "Hell, let's change our relationship status", I was tired, and a bit sick (I had a fever), so I agreed, and oh my god how much I regret it. What if we go on our first date, which is soon, and I find out I didn't like him as much as I thought I did. What if I lose him as a friend. What if I embarrass him, or make him upset, since all our friends know. I know I'm over thinking it and if we do end up deciding it's not working out, we can just tell our friends that. But I don't know, I'm so afraid I'm going to hurt him. I just... I just... UGH, I can't take it, I've been overcome with regret and my stomach has been in knots, because of this. I hope it does work out, not because I'm scared of being hurt, but because I'm scared of him getting hurt. I sort of wish I told him I just want to stay friends. But I'll wait, I'll give him the chance on the first date, maybe the second (if it comes around, since we won't be able to see each other as much because I'm changing schools), but if I feel like I don't become more attracted to him other than the "yeah, he's a really nice guy, and I like him, let's see where this could go", I might have to tell him, it's not going to work out. I guess I'm about 10x more anxious about this is because he's liked me for over 2 years now, he told me, he told me since he met me, he's been basically head over heels for me.
I guess I'm also anxious/scared, because I've only liked 2 guys before. Let's call the first guy who I ever really liked Coconut, and this current guy Bean. To cut to the chase, Coconut liked me too, but told me he felt he wasn't enough for me, and also that he liked someone else more. I was crushed. Completely and totally. What if I do this to Bean?
Just typing stuff off
Feel free to ignore, i just need to kinda get it off of my chest
Feel free to ignore, i just need to kinda get it off of my chest
I dunno how to put this...or how to start...
Well to kinda put it, i suppose it's mostly me overthinking stuff and confusing myself
To put it in a way...i don't want to live? But i don't want to die either. It's confusing
My dad had this huge lashing where he told me i was the burden of the family, and because of me, the rest of my family doesn't live comfortably like they used to
So it's not like i want to die, i mean i'm afraid of death, but now i don't want to live? I dunno. I overthink things a lot. Somewhere along the line i decided that i'd want to...not live more than i want to live and be the family burden, if that makes any sense whatsoever
Well to kinda put it, i suppose it's mostly me overthinking stuff and confusing myself
To put it in a way...i don't want to live? But i don't want to die either. It's confusing
My dad had this huge lashing where he told me i was the burden of the family, and because of me, the rest of my family doesn't live comfortably like they used to
So it's not like i want to die, i mean i'm afraid of death, but now i don't want to live? I dunno. I overthink things a lot. Somewhere along the line i decided that i'd want to...not live more than i want to live and be the family burden, if that makes any sense whatsoever
Crystal babu I'm always here for you if you need to talk ;A;Sky link said:
[/quote]thanks ;___; my dad made it worse, so i could use someone to talk to :c
Needing to rant, again...
Ugh, so school starts up again in 6 days (excluding today) and as usual, I am not in the least bit looking forward to it. I hate school with a flaming passion! Like, even the flames have flames! I hate getting up early, I can't stand all of those immature people, I hate the homework, I LOATHE math class, I hate being tired when I get home, and I hate having hardly any free time. And to make matters worse, I'm going into the 12th grade and I can't afford to fail anything, or I just won't graduate with my class! As if I wasn't already pressured enough! I barely passed math last year...and I'm even taking special ed. math. REALLY? AM I THAT STUPID? I don't know what it is, but math--I just don't understand! Totally not looking forward to algebra 3! And school just makes me feel so awkward...I just don't fit in. I don't know what I did to make people hate me before they even meet me. Maybe I'm just hideous and no one wants to look at my ugly face? But my worries don't end there...what if I end up sitting by myself at lunch? It's so so so awkward and I feel like people stare at me when I sit there eating alone. And what if I don't have any friends in any of my classes? I didn't, last year! Okay, so I know for sure that I have one friend in choir with me, this year. That's another thing--I joined choir for the first time. And I'm scared crapless because you apparently have to SING ALONE in front of the teacher for him to be able to place you somewhere based on your range. I'm so scared! I can't even sing 100% in front of my mom! Whenever I'm nervous like that, I sound awful! And it's a GUY teacher! Guys aren't that understanding! He probably won't even understand that I'm automatically going to be late to his class every day! And why? Well, it's all fine and dandy that almost all of my classes are on the same floor. In fact, that's rather the luxury, considering the fact that my schedule usually has me running to hell and back, but...Of course, the class I have before choir is on the stinking top floor, while choir is on the bottom, completely on the other side of the building! BUT WAIT. THERE'S MORE. Being on the top floor nearly all day--I'm going to die of heat! On hot summer days, it's terrible up there! And my school has horribly inadequate air-conditioning. And we're SO over-crowded! Our funding is so bad, that they cut a whole hour off of every Wednesday of school in my district. Good for me when I need a break, bad in the long run. Because they also cut out a lot of the extra days in the year that we usually get off. Everybody says that the district is so darn lenient to us, but really...every day I'm stuck in school is like a nightmare, and I need all the time off I can get. I also hate walking home from school, which I have to do most of the time. It takes me about a half-hour to get to my house, which I suppose wouldn't seem so tiring if I weren't already physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted. I know it's just school and everybody has to do it. And people tell me to enjoy what I have left of it. And they probably would even laugh at my whining about everyday problems, but....I just hate it so much. And I'm concerned about how the heck I'm going to get myself into college even after it's all over...
